When you need help, start by asking - Book notes - Binh By Stories

I’m reading Fair Play by Eve Rodsky. The book discusses relationships and how to divide the workload in the household to live a fuller life and build better relationships. Whenever I’m confronted with too many tasks or responsibilities, my first instinct is not to ask for help but to carry on, push forward, and try to take on and accomplish as much as I can. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Most of the time, it leaves me exhausted and drained regardless of the outcome. Most of the time, I could have asked for help but didn’t. Is it ego or pride that prevents me from doing so? I always believe that “communication is key,” and I’m learning to express myself and my wishes, especially in asking for help. I’m looking for ways to build a system that my wife and I can benefit from and feel comfortable with.

Here’s are some of the highlights of what I read from the book today, thought I saved in here for future reference:

“You’re already communicating, if even only nonverbally, which can be the loudest form of communication in the room” – Fair Play p.136

“The root cause of many marriage failures is divisive communication” – Fair Play p.139

The difference between helping and full partnership:

“Helping means ‘this is not my job.’ Helping means ‘I’m doing you a favor.’ Helping means ‘this is your responsibility.’ Helping implies that the helper is going above and beyond while Full partnership means turning away from the idea of help entirely and taking on responsibility in an even manner.” – Fair Play p.139

Be prepare and patient as you communicate, starting the conversation might be hard but neccessary, small step at a time, choose the right place and right moment, set the environment so everyone is at ease and comfortable, understand that you are on the same team with the same goal of building a better relationship.

Why is it so difficult to decide whether to avoid or to confront? Because at some level we know the truth: If we try to avoid the problem, we’ll feel taken advantage of, our feelings will fester, we’ll wonder why we don’t stick up for ourselves, and we’ll rob the other person of the opportunity to improve things. But if we confront the problem, things might get even worse. We may be rejected or attacked; we might hurt the other person in ways we didn’t intend; and the relationship might suffer.

Fair Play p.134

Here’s are some of the highlights of what I read from the book today, thought I saved in here for future reference:

“You’re already communicating, if even only nonverbally, which can be the loudest form of communication in the room” – Fair Play p.136

“The root cause of many marriage failures is divisive communication” – Fair Play p.139

The difference between helping and full partnership:

“Helping means ‘this is not my job.’ Helping means ‘I’m doing you a favor.’ Helping means ‘this is your responsibility.’ Helping implies that the helper is going above and beyond while Full partnership means turning away from the idea of help entirely and taking on responsibility in an even manner.” – Fair Play p.139

Why is it so difficult to decide whether to avoid or to confront? Because at some level we know the truth: If we try to avoid the problem, we’ll feel taken advantage of, our feelings will fester, we’ll wonder why we don’t stick up for ourselves, and we’ll rob the other person of the opportunity to improve things. But if we confront the problem, things might get even worse. We may be rejected or attacked; we might hurt the other person in ways we didn’t intend; and the relationship might suffer.

Fair Play p.134

Here’s are some of the highlights of what I read from the book today, thought I saved in here for future reference:

“You’re already communicating, if even only nonverbally, which can be the loudest form of communication in the room” – Fair Play p.136

“The root cause of many marriage failures is divisive communication” – Fair Play p.139

The difference between helping and full partnership:

“Helping means ‘this is not my job.’ Helping means ‘I’m doing you a favor.’ Helping means ‘this is your responsibility.’ Helping implies that the helper is going above and beyond while Full partnership means turning away from the idea of help entirely and taking on responsibility in an even manner.” – Fair Play p.139

Why is it so difficult to decide whether to avoid or to confront? Because at some level we know the truth: If we try to avoid the problem, we’ll feel taken advantage of, our feelings will fester, we’ll wonder why we don’t stick up for ourselves, and we’ll rob the other person of the opportunity to improve things. But if we confront the problem, things might get even worse. We may be rejected or attacked; we might hurt the other person in ways we didn’t intend; and the relationship might suffer.

Fair Play p.134

binh

When you need help, start by asking – Book notes

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